8 Things the Gym Could Go Without

We would all certainly appreciate a day at the gym without any of these, but the gym never goes a day without at least one...

(and by "we" I mean "I," but I'm sure many of you can relate)


1. Gym selfies.  Nothing bothers us more than watching people flex and take pictures of themselves in the mirrors at the gym (or even the gym bathroom).  We see enough of them on our timelines, keep them out of the gym.  By the way, selfies are linked to two things:  narcissism and bros.

"I'm not sure why I'm doing this, you can see my abs through my shirt."

"This is my serious face."

2. Guys wearing weightlifting gloves.  Are there benefits? I don't know - but what's the problem with a guy not having pretty hands?  I don't need to say much about this because, guys... Bieber wears them.

"I forgot my shirt, but I remembered my gloves."

 3. Curls in the squat rack. So original - I know.  I hate to be an unoriginal parrot, but this is the ultimate sin of the gym and it would be an equal sin for it to go unmentioned here. There is no parallel for curling in the squat rack.

"If I curl here, my legs will get strong too.  It's all about the atmosphere, bro."

 4. Grunting to the extent of screaming. Look, we understand it's important to breathe and we really appreciate your enthusiasm, but it makes everyone uncomfortable.  Screamo band concerts don't even have as many screamers as your local gym.

"This is SPARTA!"

"ARE YOU SPOTTING ME OR STARING AT YOUR BICEPS?!"

5. Shadow boxing between sets.  I'm an avid supporter of combat sports.  For those of you who don't know me, I competed for a little while myself, but here's the deal.  There is a weight room, where you lift weights, and there are mats, where you can shadow box, box, and do whatever else you'd like without getting in your casual lifter's way.

"Maybe if I show everyone my sweet jab they won't notice my less-than-sweet blue mohawk."

6. Guys who cannot keep their eyes off the yoga pants. This is for you, ladies.  Maybe I'm being optimistic, but I believe you workout in yoga pants/spandex shorts because it is comfortable, not because you want guys to stare at you.  Can a girl just workout without getting drooled over?!

These next two are in support of all my readers who don't go to the gym.

7. Checking in at the gym.  Hey, CONGRATS! Should we pat you on the back, give you a thumbs up, or better yet- should we LIKE your check-in?!  Be sure to check-in at McDonalds for your post workout meal and at the bar this weekend too.

"Today, we reached 6,000,000 Facebook check-ins!  That means you've all annoyed 6,000,000 different sets of friends. Keep it up!"

8. Transformation Tuesday pictures.. especially the ones with 75 hashtags.  We're glad you're working out and trying to live a healthier lifestyle, but do you think a new transformation photo needs to be posted every week?  We feel like we're watching old Hydroxycut commercials when we scroll through Instagram on Tuesdays.

"#TransformationTuesday #fitness #fitfam #healthy #healthylife #muscles #change #body #hardwork #dedication #inspiration #WhyAmIBlack #HashtagsGoOnForever #IloveMyself."

Until next time...


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